5 CRITICAL STEPS FOR GROWTH

Have you ever built furniture from Ikea? It’s not too difficult but the directions create more confusion. Maybe Ikea isn’t a great example but I’m sure most of us have tried putting something together, without using directions, and regretted it.

I’m going to show my age but prior to everyone having a map on your phone did you ever get lost? Actually, how many people refuse to use their map today and still get lost? Have you been on either end of an argument where winning was the only goal? How many of you are keeping score? Maybe you’re sticking with an abusive job, relationship, or friends because it’s too difficult to change. We all know those situations can be improved. Yes, even you believe it can BeBetter.

But life doesn’t come with directions. Not even Ikea direction. We get stuck repeating the same habits in broken relationships or sabotaging ourselves with our destructive lifestyle. We begin digging deeper and deeper holes practicing absent parenting, or selfish habits. Everyone’s roadblocks are a little different and the impact varies. But we’re not comparing our issues. You still need to deal with what’s in front of you. Ignoring things only makes it worse. Soon the issues stop belonging to you. You begin feeling stuck and can’t remember how you got to where you are. The only option you believe you have left is to blame everyone else.

Where do you begin? In your mind, the hole you’re in is too deep. Or maybe the hole everyone else is in is too deep. You may even be at the top of your world and feel stuck not knowing how to grow any more.

All successful transitions begin prior to any action taking place. This action occurs in your mind. Some see mental health as a sign of weakness. Supporting your mental health does not signify weakness or lack of intelligence. When you exercise your mental health you are increasing your mental strength. You are reducing insecurities, improving your confidence, and allowing your mind to operate with more agility. This type of strength has nothing to do with muscles or your ability to overpower anything. Let’s get back to our childhood because it begins with being curious.

100% EFFECTIVE 5 STEP GROWTH PROCESS

1. Curious

Most kids are born curious. They ask hundreds of questions, touch hot stoves, and spray paint their toys on their lawn 😳. At some point, we decide we know everything there is to know. We don’t want to go back to school. However, most of us know we can grow in all areas of our life.

OK now is the time to read the last paragraph over again and figure out how you don’t fit any part of that description within any part of your life.

Do you have one area of your life you can see growth helping? Great, you only need to focus on one area of your life.

Here is some crazy math for you. If you focus on a single area of growth and decide to improve 1% every day, within a year you, will be 37 times better.

But stop. Before you begin your 2-hour commitment learning how to breakdance you need to follow all 5 steps. I know, Debbie Downer.

The primary ingredient to beginning improvement is curiosity. If you’re not curious, you won’t have the discipline to continue improving. Even as simple as 1% a day, you will struggle. When you begin your growth process, your curiosity is the first 1% required to get things started.

When you launch your mission of curiosity it’s important to have perspective. Are you someone who blames others for your lack of growth? Do you lack discipline? What’s your time management like? The next step is why you need to be curious. Curiosity gives you passion and without that passion, you are your own worst enemy.

2. Know Yourself

Are you married and have kids? How late can you responsible stay up… every night? What are your routine norms and who else will be affected by changes to your routine? You have to know yourself and everything around you. Remember, if you’re choosing to grow how will that affect others around you? If you only ask others to sacrifice for your change you are already failing at growth.

Making a change doesn’t no mean everyone around you needs to change. What are the adjustments you’re willing to make? You may need to stop sleeping in, playing games, or listening to the radio. What distracts you? If you’re unable to define your weaknesses or norms, begin tracking your activities. Don’t track how others affect your activities, track your choices. Did you surf Reddit for 2.5 hours? Watch a movie followed by 2 hours of cat videos on YouTube. Maybe you only do that 3 times a week. How else are you spending your time? You need to learn about yourself. Trust me, your partner, kids, and co-workers may know you better than you know yourself.

It’s important to track your activities (stayed up until 2:00 am play video games 3 times this week). But not as important as understanding why you made that decision. This is where another 1% improvement occurs. Don’t justify your actions, identify that decision as an opportunity. Most of us don’t have time. Then we buy a home, get married, have kids, and can’t figure out how we wasted all our time when we were younger. Trust me, you’re still wasting time. We all have the same amount of time during the day. Our mindset will either allow or prevent us from making better decisions.

3. DON’T OVERSHADOW THE PROBLEM

Most people have problems with time. We forget to tell our partner our plans to rule the world. Our kids have events, or we were one of the lucky ones to get the new gaming console. We just don’t have enough time and we deserve these leisure activities to “rest our mind and body.” Sometimes our growth will be a distraction. You can break your arm while learning to ski with your goal of attacking new outdoor adventures. Hurt your back going to CrossFit trying to get into the best shape of your life. How you respond is key.

Are you going to let your reaction overshadow the problem? When things get difficult how do you respond? Let’s say during your growth process your schedule doesn’t align with your partner. He or she will not budge and that is preventing you from being able to begin your growth and you into a huge fight. So what’s next. Give up? This is part of the growth cycle. This is part of improving 1% every day. ADAPT. You’ll know when you’re overshadowing the problem when an obstacle gets in the way and your response is to blame someone else, quit, or become physically or emotionally out of control.

The last thing you want to do is feed your shadow. In the previous paragraph, you saw examples of actively feeding your shadow. There is a passive method equally as destructive. Complaining causes your shadow to grow. Little by little, you are feeding your shadow. Pretty soon your shadow has become you and all those complaints about why you can’t succeed become your fact. Complaining is a reaction to a situation. It doesn’t take any thought, it’s just telling people how horrible your situation is.

Instead of reacting and complaining look for solutions. Maybe you need to be more vulnerable. Part of building your 1% growth is thinking about your decisions. Nothing is going to make you perfect, so please do not have that be your goal. You, me, everyone is going to mess up. Think about your next step. How are you going to Respond?

4. Respond

Reacting is often filled with emotions and misguided actions. Reactions don’t always occur externally. Sure, we’re able to contain our outbursts most of the time. However, we’re priming ourselves internally by seducing ourselves with a lack of any internal guidance. We jump to conclusions. We become overly sensitive. We make poor decisions and lack vulnerability.

WARNING – During this process, you’re not looking to smother your thoughts. Disregarding or ignoring thoughts and emotions is a common way many react when they decide to stop a bad habit. Those attempts are often very temporary and lead to more extreme issues. Learning to respond to your thoughts and feeling is incredibly important. All of your thoughts and feelings are important. You need to be your biggest advocate and if you hide from… you, you’re not really getting to know yourself (step #2).

So when you’re tired, don’t feel you have time, are mentally exhausted, or feel something sounds boring how will you respond? If you react, you’ll do exactly what your mind’s default is telling you to do. Go have a bowl of Lucky Charms, watch football, and lounge. I mean “you deserve it.” Or you can respond. This may require you to develop new habits but again this is part of another 1% growth opportunity.

The first 4 steps in this process may take two hours or two months. This is why you need to have curiosity and passion. You need to know yourself so when you do grow that 1% per day you’ll be able to recognize it. Now we move onto step 5.

5. Target Action

Now you’ve successfully defined a passion, discovered yourself, battled your shadow, and set yourself up by using planned responses utilizing your thoughts and emotions. You can be perfect at steps 1-4 but if you don’t act the slightest breeze of a problem will bring you back to step 1.This is the part where everyone yells ACTION.

Learning how to handle steps 1-4 is critical. You will not perfect the first 4 steps prior to going into action but you need to always be conscious of the first 4. Some of your greatest growth with the first 4 steps will come from performing your action. So what are you waiting for? Arguably the first step is action because you need to get started. Waiting until tomorrow is just another excuse.

Steps 1-5 are iterative. You will repeat them. It may not be in the same order all the time but as you grow you will learn more about yourself and what feeds your shadow. In turn, you will begin responding differently to thoughts, emotions, and roadblocks. You will create action to sponsor change and growth. In time, new passions will be delivered, helping to spur your mission. By the end of the year your shadow will be less aggressive, your response more guided, and actions more rewarding. But most of all your passion will develop into a purpose. Before you know it, others will be fighting for your growth.

FIND FAILURE

Most are unknowingly battling the five steps. We want to grow but how? Failure is often the assassin that stops us from succeeding. In reality, failure is a gift. It’s the beacon helping us understand if we’re going in the right direction.

Remember, you’re trying to grow 1% every day. Failure is part of learning. Often, you will grow more from your path than you will from succeeding in your overall goal. Growing 1% does not mean you need to boil the ocean. Consistency and sticking to the 5 steps are more important than results.

Was this helpful? Let me know? I am beginning to curate books, podcasts, and other information to help in our journey. If you would like any recommendation or guidance along your journey, let me know. Please fill out this form and I will respond within 24 hours. 5 Steps to Growth Contact Form – Meet Jay Norton